It’s tempting to try to scrub away every fake-orange pixel that lodged in our brains over the past four years. To erase every smug grin, ill-fitting suit, and pompous symbol of the Trump administration’s chaos and cruelty from our minds, and fill the space with images of puppies, rainbows, and normal, baby-kissing politicians. But. (Deep, calming breath). There’s something Trump “gets” that we don’t: no one knows what you’ve accomplished unless you tell them. From having people photograph him signing blank pieces of paper to delaying vital aid payments so he could slap his signature on the checks, Trump took every opportunity to show how we were winning “bigly” with him in office. He got where he is because he’s a master of self-promotion, and we got where we are politically in part because half the country thinks that the government does nothing but give their tax dollars to lazy people...and we’ve done a terrible job of correcting them. So how can Democrats champion “using government for good” when a huge chunk of Americans don’t believe in the government? The same way we try to get people elected—with strategic, intuitive marketing.
Trump’s Coup Failed, But What Do We Do Now?
Over the past several years, Republicans have fought to arm their supporters to the teeth, fed them endless conspiracies and political victim narratives, and elected a sociopathic con man as their supreme leader. What could possibly go wrong? Today, we found out: thousands of Trump-supporting thugs assaulted the U.S. Capitol and the very fabric of our democracy. History was made, but for what worthy cause? Because their orange overlord lost, fair and square. We’ll say it louder for those in the back: trying to overthrow a legitimate government is treason, and Trump and his minions are proving what we’ve known all along: they believe in the virtue of “freedom” and in constitutional rights for themselves alone. Unfortunately, in their quest to preserve Trump’s power and “defend” their own interests, they’ve taken us all along for the terrifying ride.
2020 Sucked. Here are Your Horoscopes for 2021.
By Madame D’Anne Witkowski, soothsayer to the stars
There are few things that most people agree about, but as divisive as 2020 has been it has also brought everyone together to declare, “Wow. 2020 sure sucked.”
This means that 2021 has great potential! To be even better. Or worse. The bar has been set very low. But if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we can always go lower. But when 2020 goes low, 2021 goes high! Or gets high. I can never remember.
Here’s what’s in store for you for 2021. No take-backs.